Author: Melanie

Writer’s note: For the times when you feel like a performer with no other role. Like being something for others is all you are. When you don’t feel important.

The gears feel tighter as I push my hour hand to strike twelve. My hand marking the seconds constantly shifts along.

Tick-tock, tick-tock.

I wonder if all those below me who hunch over their desks and sip coffee from paper cups acknowledge me as more than an object. the strain that I put in 24/7 isn’t a simple task. Eight years going strong while I feel my gears creak and groan along. I feel a bit giddy with all the glances I start to get at this time. Their lunch break is almost here, so my collection of small grins and smirks will arrive soon. Only a couple of times a day do I feel useful to the people I perform for.

Tick-tock.

My hands comes together to strike five in the afternoon. I am always so careful to keep my time running smoothly. Messing up isn’t an option. This is when a rushing symphony of excitement bursts throughout the office. People are shutting down their computers, handing in their last file of the day, or rushing to grab a snack for the road. My eyes flutter across the room of cheerful chit-chat and bright smiles. The slight condensation that builds up against my glass from straining myself is subtle enough to go unnoticed. I have let everyone know their work is over. The stress and bustle of their day has come to a close. This feeling of appreciation is a moment for me to indulge in. I worked hard, didn’t I? Was I good enough? I’m sure they would all say nice things if they knew I was listening. My work never stops. That has to mean something.

Tick-tock.

A hush settles. There is a soft murmur of the A/C along the ceiling. I’m alone in an empty office where chairs are pushed in, the motion sensors in the lights drowning the room in darkness. This open space with frosted windows separates meeting rooms from the outside. The used coffee filter sitting on top of the garbage. Pens lying in hidden crevices that are forgotten just like me. I’m stuck in this office when everyone leaves to go off into the world. Moving each of my hands to the right beat. Tick-tock. I wonder what fresh air feels like against my glass casing. It’s a harsh burden to be forced to perform day after day. The most contact I get is from the weekly cleaner, Glen. I sit on top of a slightly crooked nail with a clear view of every inch of this 4-walled cell that is my home. A place where my use is seen a few hours a day while my nights are spent in lonely agony. No one to talk to. No one sees me for who I am. I perform because that’s what I was made to do. I have no other setting. I have no one.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock. Did I do a good job? Tick-tock. Is my performance good enough for my demanding audience? Tick-tock. Am I enough? Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-

Written by: Melanie Diel

Edited by: Krizia Figueroa

Published in the Strike Magazine Orlando print issue 9, Fall 2024. Piece is on page 89.

Writer’s note: This blog article describes the struggles college seniors experience in their last semester. Highlighted are ways to manage stress and University of Central Florida campus resources to utilize.

Imagine this all-too-common scenario: you’re a senior balancing your classes, trying to gain experience in your field, and trying to land a job after graduation. This is the reality for me and so many others. As someone who has changed their major quite a few times, I finally found a happy home studying English Literature. But it also means that I need to make up for lost time. This semester has been one of the hardest for me because I am choosing to put so many things on my plate. I attend regular therapy sessions to better my mental health, have a part-time job, balance a full class schedule, and try to squeeze in some real-world experience for my field. My plate is pretty hefty, so I’m going to lay out all the anxious thoughts that run through my head alongside some solutions I’ve found that work for me. Also, as a student at the University of Central Florida, I will be highlighting a few on-campus resources that will be a true lifesaver. Having had the chance to try out different departments on campus, I’m able to talk about how they helped me out for the better. 

Ways to Gain Control of Anxiety

Stress has become my bestie and we’re only halfway through the semester. My mind is in a constant cycle of worrying about what move to make next. Whenever I check my calendar for the day over breakfast, I feel like all my time is accounted for; I am booked to the max while barely scheduling some free time. It gets to the point where my head is a mess of anxious thoughts and I’m running out of time. I get jittery and forget how to breathe. My mind fills up and it feels like I’m drowning. It has been so hard to learn and understand my anxiety. Being in therapy these last couple of months has helped, but I still feel like my anxiety can take control when I don’t want it to. 

Grounding Techniques 

In these heated moments, I try my best to bring out a deep breathing technique, called “boxed breathing”, which comforts me. I look for a quiet place that allows me to spend a few minutes with myself, close my eyes, and follow this pattern: breathe in for a count of two, hold for two seconds, and then breathe out for a count of two. Do this pattern for two, four, and then six seconds. This technique allows you to calm down your nervous system and improve focus so that you can move forward in a calmer state. 

Thinking positive, grounding thoughts while touching a textured surface or item can also provide comfort. You can play with your favorite fidget toy or take off your shoes to rub the bottoms of your feet along some carpet. The act of touching something can help you center yourself.

Don’t get it twisted, this is definitely not an easy feat. In this mental tug of war that I’m not sure I win often, learning to manage anxiety can lessen the negative symptoms over time. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about trying, even a little, every day. There will be hard days, but you can work through them. 

Prioritizing Mental Health 

Your mindset and mental health should be a focus for you in a time like this. Many challenges will be thrown in your path, but you can get through them. I want you to remember that you’re not alone. I’ve learned from the people around me that in times of distress, it’s helpful to hear from a person who understands what you’re going through. Finishing up college is not an easy task. You are not a burden for talking about your problems. It’s not easy, but once you start leaning on other people it will become less scary to do.

It is worth putting time aside for self-care. Having a good morning and night routine ensures that you take care of yourself. This time gives you a chance to connect with yourself, clear your mind, and work towards a better mindset.

Making a Solid Plan

Through all the rumble and bustle of planning your future, remember to look at the positives. You get to slowly learn more about the career that piques your interest while thinking about how you want to set up life after graduation. This can look different for every person, so here is a rough guide on how to start. 

The Basics

Start with honestly describing the major you’re studying. Is there any passion or do you feel lost? Explore those feelings openly to understand where you are and where you want to be. 

Write down all of the things you’re confused about, don’t know anything about, or want to know more about. Set a baseline for the knowledge you have alongside what you can learn when you reach out for help. 

On-Campus Resources

The Career Services center along Memory Mall is incredible. I have met with a few advisors whom I ask for advice on ways to gain experience in my career field, how to spice up my resume, what I can do on the side to improve my skills, and any other questions that come to mind. This center is well-equipped with making sure students are given resources, good advice, and more so they can succeed. 

KMETC, Knights Major Exploration and Transition Center, is also a great place to go if you aren’t sure what the right major is for you. I went to them for help and was able to learn a lot about what I enjoy and what career field I want a future in. They helped guide me in the right direction! 

There are many additional places on campus that can provide exactly what you’re looking for. Don’t be discouraged or embarrassed about asking for help because sometimes it’s necessary for you to get to where you want to be.

Written by: Melanie Diel

Edited by: Nina Rueda & Olivia Wagner

Published on the Strike Magazine Orlando blog, Fall 2024

Writers note: This list came about by narrowing down some of the best places around the city. I’m a local and Ana was new in town, so we had a mix of perspectives to pick these special spots. Even as a local I haven’t been to some of these places, so it makes it all the more fun to see a Google Review-like summary of their vibes.

Stardust Cafe 

Nostalgia, comfort, and string lights represent The Stardust Cafe. This cute spot will wrap you up in a blanket of wonderful coffee shop vibes. This adored cafe opened up back in 1999 as a store where you could sip coffee as you picked out a movie to rent. The natural transition from a video-rental store to a full on cafe came about when DVD players were lost to the more modern tech we love today. There is a charming Italian-style counter where you can order a coffee or a yummy nibble and nearly every wall has picture frames with quirky photos and random knick-knacks. During the day there is tons of sunlight washing through the windows and at night the twinkling lights along the ceiling create a warm, inviting aura. From live shows with local bands to poetry nights, this is the place to catch a chill vibe.

Corrine Drive

If you are looking for a relaxing shopping moment, Corrine Drive is the spot for you! With coffee shops, gardening, vintage clothing and CD stores, the area provides a good amount of places for you to spend a typical Florida afternoon. In addition, the street is welcoming a brand new bookstore focused on romances of all kinds, which adds a plus to the variety of independent businesses that chose Corrine Drive as their forever spot.

Leu Gardens 

The natural garden offers the perfect setting for those who are thinking about scaping the craziness that means living in Orlando. With 50 acres of land and 40 plant collections, Leu Gardens is ideal for all ages and seasons. If you decide to go with kids, near the tropical garden, there is a ‘children’s reading corner’ and some benches for a quick pause. If you are feeling romantic, make sure to check the rose and butterfly gardens, where colorful and delicate flowers attract pollinators. Even though the garden feels like a different place, Florida’s weather is still a factor, so sunscreen and water are must-haves year-round.

Avalon Exchange 

The peak of cute vintage clothes is what you’ll find at this local thrift store! Avalon Exchange is all about mixing an 80’s theme with current trends. Who doesn’t love that? All their inventory comes from the locals, meaning it’s almost guaranteed that something will strike your eye. Many gems are peppered around the store including adorable pins and big-name brands. New inventory is put out almost daily, so there’s always more to come back for. Grabbing some Stardust coffee on the way to this thrift is a perfect afternoon!

Winter Park

Winter Park is one of the best spots around Central Florida to hang out any day of the week at any time of the day. While it is considered the city of arts and culture, the region also aims for a “sustainable future for all generations” by protecting Winter Park’s natural system and hosting over 35 annual events that helps to maintain the community united. For locals and tourists, the neighborhood is very welcoming, from The Wine Room that allows you to explore over 150 wines from around the world, to the Rollins Museum that catches your attention with art from the four corners of the globe.

The Enzian 
This beloved theater creates the gorgeous experience of blending together a delicious dinner with an entertaining film! Numerous film festivals are hosted here, including the Florida Film Festival, adding to the charm of this local theater. Sit back and joyfully relax as you watch films that range from classics to modern masterpieces. A theater like this is a lucky find to put the allure back into cinema. Who doesn’t want to go out for a wonderfully combined dinner and a movie?

Orlando Museum of Art 

As a perfect place to spend the day, the Orlando Museum of Art offers an incredible environment for everyone (including toddlers) who are looking to escape the craziness of living in one of the most touristic cities in the world. Founded in 1924, OMA is the home of a well-curated ancient America collection and modern artists such as Andy Warhol, which allows adults to better understand the importance of art throughout the centuries, while also offering on-site events such as “Yoga in the Galleries” and “Stroller Tours.” Everybody should add a little bit of art to their lives.

Tori Tori 

Tori Tori is the perfect Japanese pub food located at North Mills Ave, with a variety of flavorful drinks and small bites for you to try. The gentle lighting and peaceful ambiance create a cozy setting, ideal for couples or small gatherings.

A calm, speakeasy aesthetic hits you when you first walk in. An interesting menu paired with beautiful mocktails cement this restaurant as a unique experience! Each dish came out sporadically when the chef was finished and the pretty presentation stayed consistent. The small tapas-style portions allowed for the focus to be on the burst of flavor and aroma at an affordable price. Take a step inside to see why so many locals are raving about this spot!

The Wellborn 

With an adorable and relaxing vibe, The Wellborn is a great spot 

for brunch with friends or by yourself. You can enjoy your Spanish-style tapas either by the courtyard or inside the historic I.W. Phillips House while sipping on vibrant, colorful drinks. Speaking of historic houses, The I.W. Phillips House was built in 1917 and moved to the current location in the 1980s. If you’re stopping by on a Sunday, you’re in for a treat—live music in the courtyard makes brunch even more enjoyable!

Milk District 

The comfy Milk District is the place to go for a quick snack, relaxing afternoon, or a fun night out! This small, but excitingly packed, area of our city has some native staples. The widespread Festival Park is usually packed with sports lovers all afternoon long with the Orlando Skate Park right next door. Kelly’s Ice Cream is a go-to for the creamiest sweet treat to satisfy cravings. Southern Nights, a spunky nightclub, feels like a scavenger hunt where a new crowd is just around the corner and fun events pop up weekly. This district aims to keep the focus on uplifting artists and small businesses located within its borders. We love seeing a strong vision for diversity being implemented in wonderful ways!

Written by: Melanie Diel and Ana Carolina-Ferreira

Cowritten by: Verdugo Lizama

Edited by: Nina Rueda

Published in the Strike Magazine Orlando print issue 10, Spring 2025. Piece begins on page 82.

Writer’s Note: The topic of this poem is about the idea of existing as a conscious work of art being spectated in a museum. It encapsulates loneliness with the added feeling of life being out of your hands. I wanted a more interesting way to present these feelings, to feel like a thing to be gawked at. Enjoy reading.

i hang here, by a string on a nail. paint on paint on canvas. 

everyone tells me i’m art, a piece of art. people love to tell me what i am, to decide for me. i never feel like i have the option to say what i am.

as i hang here, they walk up and hover. they point at me and talk about me. they love me, or they hate me, or they act like they care when they talk about me. my job is to let them talk about me. they are always talking about me, not to me or with me, but about me.

it’s lonely not to be in the conversation but the subject. i’m just a subject to people. as i hang here and play my role, as they just walk up and away, i can do nothing but perform. 

maybe i’m too hurt to be seen, all the baggage of life dragging behind me. maybe i was meant to be a spectacle for others. just an object.

people give me their attention when it’s convenient for them. as if a quick glance or short conversation makes me important for a moment. i can’t remember the last time i felt important in life.  

they observe and drool and criticize. so many harsh words when kind ones are easier to speak. if i scream, can they hear me? do they want to hear me?

i don’t want to perform anymore, to be an object forever. 

when does it end? when?

Written by: Melanie Diel

Edited by: Olivia Wagner

Published on the Strike Magazine Orlando blog, Fall 2024